New leaf

I started my new work at the health center of our municipality. I know its not much of a training ground. I did set aside my desire to be an accomplished specialist. Maybe this new environment would make me rethink of how I lived for those 2 years. Those years made me someone that I am not in the start. I always dreamt of being a physician and it came true. But as I was fulfilling that dream, I havent noticed that its making me someone I'm not. A simple life, that is all I wanted. In my 30 years of existence I have my fair share of mistakes in so many different aspects of my life but getting out of that horrible place has never been one of them. It made me realized that it just made me a person with no conscience,  heartless, a person that has no soul at all. I asked myself if this is I want, if this is the life I want to live. yeah, for every doctor or for mostly all doctors, its a great achievement when you've become a specialist. I guess, its not for me. simplicity runs through my blood. and maybe this change in environment would bring back the humility I once had, the simplicity, and the genuine care that I always rendered to those in need. 

and I think,  being on this new environment and meeting new people, will always remind me of how lucky I am that Ive got to fulfill my dream. 

The Mistress

just watched this movie. a good movie. never had i imagined that i would like it. considering im not much fond of philippine movies. im not discriminating or something. its just that its not my preferred kind of movies to watch on the big screen. a friend just invited me to see this, i hesitated for a moment, but when he said that its his treat, well, how can a gal say no to that, right? haha though i cant really relate to the plot, but the acting of the leads was so intense that you can feel how passionate and how deep the evolution of the story went. i was expecting that the ending was a fairytale like end, "then they live happily ever after" kind of ending and I was wrong about it. its an unexpected ending or should I say something different but you'll definitely will be satisifed of it. hmm... all I can say is that this is a movie worth watching especially when someone treats you to watch this! :)

the things you can do

It made me realize how stupid I can get when it comes to that certain person I practically grew to care a lot! The things you can do for that someone you care. You cant think straight, you cant and will not say no to anything he asks of you. hmmm... its really stupid but I just cant help not to give in to anything and everything he requests. that's just me. simple minded, gullible, stupid girl whose head over heels gaga on some guy! sheesh! and apparently, all this time he just keeps on ignoring me. huh... I was thinking if maybe there'll be this time and age that the situation would turn around. him, being the stupid and gullible one and me being the ignoring type and I-really-dont-care-about-you gal! That would be epic! huh! 
its not a big deal, we're friends actually. and I'm thinking I'm JUST a FRIEND trying to help out, right? 
after all this years of being friends with the guy I like, I was hoping that someday he would realize how far I can go by helping not because we are friends but because I care about it him. I'm not asking to throw himself to me and say that he feels the same way too. but a little appreciation on his part would do. :) pathetic right? but that's how the world works! gotta be the stupid one and him being the for-all-I-care guy. 
on the other hand, maybe I'll find that someone that would care. still am hoping for that guy to come... maybe...just maybe.... 

Writing again

If it haven't been for an anonymous comment I wouldn't find my blog. It brought back memories of what I was when I was in med school. And of course my never ending whining about it. I hardly write now a days. But seeing my blog for the first time again for so many years of not checking it, I think I'll try writing again. I'm not a good writer, it doesn't matter. It's the fun and fulfillment made by writing, that's what I'm after. 😊 writing again is what I need. You can call it as some form of therapy. And maybe it is. Now, I can write about the things I can't say or the events in my life that I want to reminisce. Hmmm... I'm excited!

Beef Brisket ni Kuya Lester

over the weekend nagpunta ko sa cavite kina charis... hmm... nag unwind dahil katatapos lang ng isang madugong exam! nwei, lester is a new friend inintroduce ni charis... well, simepre mejo kapal ng face ko at nakiclose close ako sa kanya. hehe... nwei, pinagmamalaki niya ang beef brisket sa cavite.sabi niya pag bumalik ako dun ililibre niya ko, for that naexcite at nacurious ako sa beef brisket niya at nakakaengganyo dahil every week talagang hindi nawawaglit na makakain siya nun... weird na nilalang di ba? ehehe... isip ko siguro nga talagang masarap na makakalimutan mo pangalan mo? haha ritual niya na yun every week with matching chicken feet and bottomless iced tea... hmm... so eto na nga, mega punta ko ng cavite buti na lang at hindi ako nawala.. dinner niya kami niyaya.. name nga pala nung restaurant is King Bee... hmm... siempre mejo kabado at baka nga di ko magustuhan dahil feeling ko bago sa kin... well, di pwedeng magreklamo kasi nga libre yun... hehe hindi pwedeng pairalin ang pagkaprangka sa ganung sitwasyon... hehe... so ayun na nga... order na ang kuya lester.. eh dinagdagan pa niya ng soyed chicken.. hmmm.... so akala ko ang serving nila eh konti lang. so wait kami na iserve... eto na, shux!! kaoverwhelm ang food... ang rice grabe! pang dalawang tao.. hmm... di ko nga alam saan siniksik ni charis at lester yung kinain nila eh. hehe kasi ako di ko talaga nakayanan! hinati ko na talaga yung rice at feeling ko tingin palang busog na ko... i must say, the food was great. naoverwhelm lang talaga ako at madami yung serving. parang wala sa usual na kinakain ko. eto na ang beef brisket, katawa kasi talagang alam ni lester kung anung napalitan sa dish na yun. haha katuwa di ba? sabi nga namin magfranchise na sia. galing di ba? sa every week na pagdine niya dun pati pagpapalit ng chef eh alam niya just because of that particular food... haha... weird.. pero all in all sarap nung beef brisket at chicken feet, di ko lang masyadong nanamnam kasi nga may soyed chicken pa. hehe nahiya nga ako at talagang di ko na naubos. :) oh well, next time talagang i'll prepare myself when someone will introduce me to a new dish. haha naanticipate ko kasi na hindi siya ganun karami... hehe... well, it was a good and memorable experience! thanks kay lester at charis for that!!! :)

HYPO

at long last may maisusulat na ko ulit... this past few weeks, dami kong nararamdaman... i have lower back pain which lasted naman for 1 day only. fortunately hindi siya nagtagal... after that im feeling sleepy always lagi akong hinahatak ng bed to sleep... would you imagine na 3x a day kung matulog ako sa isang araw? hmm... so i thought na normal lang at sadyang tamad akong bata... hehe eh since birthday ko naman dat time, nagpa routine lab exam ako, at si mami naman ang nagrarun ng para sa thyroid panel siempre naidamay na din... well, actually matagal ng may hinala si mami na may endocrine problem ako.. pero siempre ayokong maniwala at nagpapakuha ako sa kanya ng dugo to prove na normal pa naman ako... hehehe i really imagined myself having some systemic illness or something na may lifetime na gamutan when i reach the age of 45? i was so wrong... very wrong.... well, ayun, the results came out all was normal except for my thyroid panel!!! waaah!!! yun pa naman ang ayokong sakit dahil para kang drug addict sa pag inom ng gamot!!! yun nga, hypothyroid ako... good timing pa talaga ang sakit na to ha, at yun ang pinagaaralan ko sa pathology! nakakarelate!!! hehehe nung sinabi pa lang ni mami na elevated yung mga test, sobrang nag isip na ko hanggang sa pagtulog ko yata at panaginip nadala ko yung pag iisip ko.... i was thinking kailangan ba kong madepress? or it should be treated like there's nothing wrong with me? siempre aside from the fact that there's something wrong inside me... i really dont know how to handle it... siempre mega text ako kay ferdie, ang reply ng lolo at least now you know!!! waaaa!!!! hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o maiinis sa reply niya eh... sabi ko nga at this time and age hindi ko naisip man lang na magkaroon ng ganun... si ninel naman nung minsan nasabi ko din na ganun, aba apektado ang lola!!! hehehe naglungkut-lungkutan!!! habang nag uusap kami, napapansin niya na mejo bagal ko daw magsalita at mejo exaggerated na my slurring of speech daw ako!!! waaahhh!!!! sabi ko anu ka ba! nakakadepress kaya yang mga sinasabi mo! well, kilala naman na ko nun kaya kayang kaya niyang magsalita ng ganun at siempre alam niya kung anu talaga ang mga manifestations ng may hypothyroid... fortunately, hindi naman siya nakakamatay as long as nakamaintain ka ng gamot... one thing im afraid to be manifesting is mental retardation!!! hay... saklap ng buhay, wala na ngang boyfriend eh nagdedeteriorate pa ang utak!!! hehe kakarampot na nga lang mawawala pa sakin... hehehe well, i think naman na nakukuha sa gamot, yun nga lang lifetime treatment... kaya pala din na ang mga tantrums ko out of the blue.. ganun kasi ang mga hypo, may sariling mundo! hehehe nwei, i finally realized that just go with the flow and pray... its all ive got... may classmate din naman akong may thyroid problem and she did survive ngayon 3rd year na siya... at eto pa nga ako na naman ang highest sa pathology exam namin ( pahumble na tono to, hindi po nagmamayabang (: ) kaya meaning to say na malayo pa ko sa pagkakaroon ng tama sa utak!!! wehehehe.... :)

DOCTORS

Doctors by Erich Segal

At the novel's heart is the unforgettable relationship of Barney Livingston and Laura Castellano, childhood friends who separately find unsettling celebrity and unsatisfying love - until their friendship ripens into passion. Yet even their devotion to each other, even their medical gifts may not be enough to save the one life they treasure above all others.

ganda ng book na to. nay, natapos ko na din siya. hehe ok basahin. napa isip tuloy ako parang gusto kong mag psychiatry. maging isang shrink! hehe nakakarelate ako kay barney eh. maganda.. lalo na yung pagsasaulo ng cranial nerves. katuwa kasi tinuro din sa min yun sa anatomy. "oh,oh, to touch and feel a girl's vagina, ah heaven!" hehe galing diba? hindi ko akalain na talaga palang ginagamit noon pa yung pnemonics na yun. natuwa talaga ko. yun lang.